Wednesday, April 30, 2008

My Guy - 9

Before you call a friend to whine at length about 'how different' your current flame seems to be, think about it: Who's really changed here?

OMG - I did whine to a friend (though not "at length") about how different Husband and I are. I'm pretty freaked out. Though here's the deal:

When we first got together we were both pretending to dig each other's interests. On our honeymoon in London he attended a Noel Coward play with me and I went to a Kinks concert at his request. I'm a better actor, so he doesn't really know the depth of my non-interest, while I am QUITE CLEAR where his boundaries are.

I'm sure it's not that way with everyone. I always feel like we're the "freaky" couple. But I guess it boils down to the fact that I would rather spend the evening with him at a concert than by myself at a play. And I certainly don't want to spend the evening with him being forced to sit through theater; that would just be ugly.

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

What do you use to clean Heart off a sleeve? - 2

Ever hear the expression 'wearing your heart on your sleeve'? Well, you're doing it! Prepare to expose your soft underbelly to one and all. The good news is that you'll weed out your true friends from the passersby. Once and for all, you'll know who deserves your deepest devotion.

Sorry, I don't do "vulnerable" well. In fact, I try not to do it at all. And I already know who deserves my deepest devotion....or do I?

I'm really confused by this. Don't really see the heart/sleeve thing happening today. Today was mostly running around .... Bible Study group (though maybe I wore my heart on my sleeve there, let's see if they look at me funny when I show up next week), voice over, lunch, shrink, bead store, middle school play prop creation, synchro club meeting, figure skating club meeting.

I need a day off. Seriously. I want to go play. I want to do stupid stuff. I want to sit in the sun and drink margaritas with my friends and laugh. I want to stop being responsible. I am weary of responsibility.

Monday, April 28, 2008

Let's dream - 10

And if you've forgotten your dreams, you're reminded today.

Today I got a comment on my last entry from someone who used to listen to me on the radio and apparently found it pleasurable. I was encouraged - no, challenged - to attempt a daring new radio position. I just have to say thanks. I did love the radio job, especially when I knew that people enjoyed it. It may not be the most noble dream, but I like to entertain! And sometimes I'm pretty good at it.

So, thanks former listener and blog commentator Spring4, for reminding me of my dreams.

Saturday, April 26, 2008

I need a bra and a bonfire - 5

There's plenty of assistance available to you, if only you let others know what you need.

I need someone to clean the toilets.

Ok, enough trying to be witty and time to really deal with things. I realize I've been goofing off the last week or so and I mean to get serious. I've been doing a lot of thinking lately .... (Not Really) Old Flame has got me thinking about high school, which I barely remember, and a recent chain e-mail from a friend (where you answer 40 questions) has got me thinking about the fact that I can't choose a better favorite flavor for ice cream than plain chocolate?!? What the hell is wrong with me?

Tonight I was reading an article in New York magazine about Hilary Clinton and feminism, and I realized that ten years ago I would have voted for Hilary simply because she is a woman. I still am a feminist (and am raising one too - yay for me!) but where has my edge gone? That's it .... I've lost my edge.

I'm reclaiming my edge d*$^@it!

Thursday, April 24, 2008

You're not the boss of me - 6

The Sagittarius Moon will shift your focus to financial and health issues today, as you probably need an overhaul in both areas.

Come on! Not this again! Yes, I need to exercise. Yes, I blew off physical therapy all week. Yes, I ate ice cream for lunch. Blah, blah, blah.

And, yes I bought ..... wait a minute, I didn't buy anything!

Take that!

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Confidence - 0, Cheerleaders - 10

You'll gain new found confidence if you become willing to trust your inner voice instead of outside influences.

I'm pretty sure that my "inner voice" is a 15-year old, snotty, cheerleader who thinks that the world "owes" her. I really am not happy with her, but have no idea how to get rid of her. And I certainly don't trust her.

Sunday, April 20, 2008

I guess clothes DO make the woman - 7

Wear white to maintain emotional balance so you can spread harmonious feelings wherever you go.

Had a cranky early afternoon; children were demanding and hovering, technology wasn't cooperating. Couldn't quite shake it, didn't want to work, didn't feel competent to do anything. Put on my white hoodie over my black clothes and had a better attitude the rest of the day.

I thought it was because I had read a few chapters of 'You Can Heal Your Life' (Louise Hay) and was consciously TRYING to have a better attitude. But I'm open enough to admit that it could have been the white hoodie.

Saturday, April 19, 2008

Help, my metaphors are mixed 1

You still may feel bound by the unchangeable circumstances of your life, but this doesn't mean that you are a fish out of water.

Am I stuck in unchangeable circumstances or flopping around on the boat deck of life? I don't think I can be both.

Thursday, April 17, 2008

Kudos to Maria Shaw

Oh, you don't know Maria Shaw (www.mariashaw.com/)? Well, she's an Astrologist Extraordinaire. (You can hear her on psychiconair.com).

Anyway, I interviewed Maria last September for my book and asked her to do a chart for the year I was keeping track of my horoscope. She had some pretty interesting things to say, but couldn't help going into my future (though I hadn't asked). "I'm so used to working this way," she said.

I wrote down everything she told me (and she also sent me a tape in case my notes weren't accurate!) and one of them was something like "an old flame will contact you next spring." I really doubted this, it's not like I have so many Old Flames that I haven't kept track of them. Plus, I had recently attended a high school reunion so I'm pretty aware of where everyone is, who they've married, how long their sentence is, etc.

So. Yesterday. Out of the blue I get an email from a boy (I guess he would be a man by now) that I had months of intense phone conversations with in high school. He attended a rival school 57 miles away, it but might as well have been 5700 miles when you're 15 and have an abundance of hormones but no drivers license.

I don't think we ever reached "flame" status -- but the email was pretty unnerving nonetheless. Not that he wrote anything inappropriate - it was your typical "catching up after 27 years" email (good grief I am OLD), but it was so unexpected. And so accurate. Ish.

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Get out of my bathroom!

Got an email this morning from Astrology.com - before I have even showered or got the kids out the door - with the reference line "Are you as attractive as you could be?"

Seriously. Now my horoscope is concerned that I'm letting myself go?

Apparently it's not enough that I'm trying to be more aware, more productive, more creative. Has the Astrological World been purchased by Conde Naste and will now try to make me insecure about my looks in order to make me buy their advertiser's products?

If tomorrow's reference line reads "10 Ways to Please Your Man" I'll know my suspicions are true!

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Now, what was I supposed to be doing? - 7

Eat more orange foods to come up with more creative ways of spending your time.

What the ....???? Like a carrot has the power to ....

Well, apparently I haven't had enough orange food today because I'm not creative enough to figure out what a carrot could help me do. Or where to go. Or... anything.

Do orange m&m's count?

Monday, April 14, 2008

More important things to do - 0

Anything more stressful or taxing than napping won't appeal to you, so why force yourself?

Why? Because I have THINGS TO DO! Laundry, writing, volunteering, physical therapy. Who's going to do these things if I don't?

Whenever I read a horoscope like this I can't help but think of those rumors about Nancy Reagan consulting Astrologers while they were in the White House. What would she have done with a horoscope like this? "Cancel the State Dinner, Assistant, I'm napping!" And what if it was Ron's horoscope and he had a big day planned? To me, getting to the grocery store when we're out of bread and milk is important. Wasn't he trying to end the Cold War?

Sunday, April 13, 2008

Where the girls are - 10

You are uplifted today as your ruling planet Jupiter increases your self-esteem, enabling you to feel more positive about your future.

Couldn't help but feel uplifted today as I spent the evening with most of the coolest women I know at my Chick Night.

Though I do have self-esteem issues often, if not always, how could I NOT feel great about myself with so many fabulous women in my house? Just the fact that they choose to be friends with me is enough to make me feel more positive about everything - including my future.

Friday, April 11, 2008

And it was all yellow - 1

Eat yellow foods to restore your physical balance or heal more quickly from a recent illness or surgery. Your intuition will deliver unexpected gifts and insights.

Do tortillas count as yellow food? What about cheddar cheese? I think cheddar is more orange than yellow. And I have to wonder - if the yellow food was supposed to help me "heal" - um, maybe my back would feel better?

Gifts and insights? Not feeling it right now. Maybe tomorrow it will pop into my head that I had an incredible insight today.

Well, slept on it and still can't think of any gifts, but here are yesterday's insights:
We're out of cat food
Children find hail entertaining (if they're safely in the house)
Children are incredibly frightened of the idea of a tornado
People assume that if they're not coming to your party, no one else is
Men make a bigger deal out of illness than women
Some people think you will just blindly accept rules that they just made up as fact


Thursday, April 10, 2008

It's always greener - 7

If you come up short financially today, don't fret; money will appear just when you need it.

The only thing unexpected about the money that appeared today was that Husband remembered to give it to me. It really stinks not getting a paycheck. And Husband likes to act like I take the grocery money and go shopping in the Prada aisle at Kroger so I don't like to remind him. It's just too tedious, and bordering on humiliating.

ps Was exhausted when I wrote this last night. Back was killing me, Daughter was frustrated and defeated over skating issues, there aren't enough hours in the day to accomplish what I want. Would money fix any of these problems? Not really. The only thing it could supply is a reprieve, but everything would still be here when I got back.

It's hard to stop "fretting" though when you are REALLY good at it!

Tuesday, April 8, 2008

Not Too Proud to Beg - 3

You are ready to reap the benefits of a lovely Jupiter-Venus quintile, whether it's through a delightful sensual experience or a financial windfall. Sweet satisfaction is now yours, as long as you remain humble.

Was I not humble enough today? There were no delightfully sensual experiences or financial windfalls. What's a girl got to do? I felt pretty humble as I stayed home all day with a first grader with drippy eyes and nose. Granted, I was pretty satisfied with today; cleaned a bunch of stuff off the computer, did some on-line errands, took the kids out to dinner and a little necessary shopping.

One gripe: (does anyone still use the word gripe?) I bought a 1 gb flash drive to store photos on so I can free up space on my pc and (hopefully) let it run faster. It didn't even hold 1/3 of my photos - what's that about?

Monday, April 7, 2008

Accuracy - Don't look in my underwear drawer

If your self-esteem is low, happiness will elude you even if you perform to a loved one's expectations.

Has someone been reading my diary?

Sunday, April 6, 2008

You can't make me admit it's right

Pondering your life's meaning and purpose will lead you to an amazing insight and boost your sense of hope and promise. You'll be able to get a fresh perspective on everything from your love life to your career.

The LAST thing I want to do is ponder my life's meaning and purpose, I'm seriously afraid I just won't find that my life has either. My purpose, these days, is to drive my kids around and do various other mom-related activities and I hate to admit this, but it's getting kinda boring. I love my kids, and am hoping they grow up to be adults that other people will like, but I'm over the "mom" thing.

God, that sounds horrible. It is horrible. I'm horrible.

Gee, so glad I'm pondering.

Please don't stop reading because I'm depressed. I'm not, I swear. I planned a Chick Night for next weekend and thought of a great name for the Evil Character in my novel, and figured out some stuff for the screenplay. Also figured out that I am getting sick and tired of having stuff that I'm "going to" write. I know why I don't write it, I'm afraid it will be bad. At this point I don't care if it's bad, I just want to get it written.

Hmmm .... maybe that's my sense of hope and promise.

I hate it when that happens.

Friday, April 4, 2008

Accuracy - 4 months and counting

Whatever you've been wishing, hoping and praying for is entirely possible now. There's one teeny, tiny snag: You'll have to actually do something to make it happen. Sitting there in front of the television might be easier, but it won't get you where you want to be.

I was feeling pretty good about this horoscope until I noticed that the dates were Mar 3, 2008 to Aug 27, 2008 - I'm supposed to work hard and avoid sitting in front of the television until August? That is not a TINY snag...that is HUGE! If I can't relax, every once in a while, and pretend that my big mop of a hairdo looks just like Carrie's from Sex and the City, and that I am not twice (maybe three) times her size and would look just as good in clothes with crazy flowers and my bra straps showing .... I'm not sure life is worth living.

Yes, I want to BE places. But Carrie does nothing but eat, drink and shop for shoes and she seems to be doing ok. Why do I have to be productive?

It hardly seems fair.

Wednesday, April 2, 2008

Why is there a cat crying outside my window?

Enjoy some comfort food, some great big hugs and that wonderful sound your cat makes while it happily kneads your lap. This rare and wonderful thing you're experiencing is called contentment. You've earned it, and it's now your duty to enjoy it.

Seriously wish I'd read this before I ordered the ahi tuna salad for dinner instead of the club sandwich. There is something about the J. Alexander french fries - and I swear they put something addictive in their ketchup too.

Feel horrible that I shirked my comfort food duty - though .... I really didn't. Stop reading here if you have a weak stomach.

I grew up in the era before pizzas were delivered in thirty minutes or less and were the dinner of choice for parents to give their kids when the sitter was coming. Whenever we had sitters coming my mother made pot pies. This was before microwaves too, so she had to remember to preheat the oven and put them in an hour before they were leaving, all while she was trying to make herself gorgeous and get the hell out of the house and keep four obnoxious kids occupied with only 3 television stations to choose from (Hee Haw anyone?).


I don't know why I thought those pot pies were so good. Maybe it was because they were so different from anything mom usually made. Now I know it's probably because of all the salt and MSG and flavorings they put in frozen food.

So pot pies are one of my comfort foods. Now, I recently discovered that Campbell's Chunky soup has a flavor called .... Turkey Pot Pie! And that's what I had for lunch today, with my own special twist. I've discovered that if you crumble 6-8 saltine crackers into this thick, creamy, chunky soup (don't even look at the food label, you don't want to know the numbers) you can nearly perfectly recreate that salty crust texture.

And I am aware that I can just go to the store and buy a frozen pot pie. But have you read the labels on those?

Tuesday, April 1, 2008

Accurazzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

You've definitely put in your time showing the world what you're made of. The world will take notice soon. In the meantime, hang out at your place with dear ones, and take a nice nap.

This worries me, it could go either way. On one hand, it could mean that I've been showing the world that I'm a know-it-all schmuck and I'll be busted soon. Or, it could mean something good.

But I always appreciate the permission, no the order, to take a nap. Of course on the one day that the Universe wants me to take a nap I end up working all day. Sigh.

Maybe tomorrow I'll be told to get a pedicure!