What Can I Dream For You Today? 4

A powerful imagination is your gift. You'll help someone by dreaming for them the dreams they can't see.

Excellent!

When you least expect it, someone from the past could return and ask to become a part of your life again.

Again, Excellent! Maybe. Oh wait, um, maybe scary.

Well, Horoscope, you were off by a week but I did get a letter from someone I went to Jr. High with who wants to be pen pals because he's now in prison. That'll do.

The first horoscope of 2009 8

You see the gulf between your ideal dreams and your current situation. There are two paths before you and two attitudes for you to choose from today. Consider your options carefully; as you pick your response to what's happening now, you're also choosing your future.

OK, then. I pick the best option, the right option, the positive option. Yes, I'm frustrated and yes, I'm feeling like the pickings are slim and I am (somewhat) unemployable but I know that I'm not. I know there's something out there; I know I can finish my book and write more. I know....I know something will happen.

Maybe not today. Maybe not even when I want - or need. But something will happen. So I choose to path that takes me from my Current Situation to my Ideal Dream.

How can you dream if you're wide awake? 0

Dreams are for sleeping and usually for keeping to yourself. However, you may find that sharing some of your most unusual ideas and flights of fancy with someone will help you find ways to make at least one of them a reality. (Detroit News)

I see a few problems here. A) All of my ideas are unusual. B) I didn't discuss any ideas with anyone today. C) I'm not that good at keeping my thoughts to myself. And D) I haven't been SLEEPING!

This horoscope totally does not apply to me. It's like the opposite of me. Really, Universe, if you want me sharing dreams I need to get over this back pain so I can sleep. Is that too much to ask?

Dream weaver 9

Pluto will turn direct and kick off a new six-month cycle, which will inspire you to recharge and revise some dreams that have been forgotten or on hold.

Interesting. Got an email from a supportive synchro dad/producer who was checking on my documentary progress. There has been no progress; I've pretty much given up since the season started and I realized it wasn't going to happen. But I'd saved all his old emails as they had tons of advice and I read through them again and started looking around again today for someone to partner up with or work with or just plain hand me a big fat check.

I'm noticing, though, that I am not promised that these retreaded dreams will work out, just that I'll be working on them for the next 6 months. I'm just going to go on ahead and act like there'll be money coming in from that.

And now that I think about it, wasn't Pluto demoted from Planet to Spaceball (or something like that) a few years ago? Am I really basing my hopes and dreams on a downgraded space rock?

Why, yes. I believe I am.

Astrological Tantrum 0

Every now and then, you're in the perfect astrological position to make your dreams come true. This is your time. All you have to do is stop searching. Let things unfold as they will. You can't help but find the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.

OK, Universe, I don't mean to sound doubtful, but the only thing I'm in the perfect position for is another panic attack. And haven't I had this one before? I think I need to go back through my 'scopes and check for repeat offenders.

This Astrology.com daily horoscope is anything but daily. Sure it arrives in my inbox every day; it comes with four different mini-scopes - an overview, love, energy and career, with a date above each for the time period it covers. It's kind of like a horoscope-biorhythm combination. So the date for the 'scope above(Overview) is March 21-August 5. So, again, not trying to be doubtful here, but not really seeing any dreams coming true. In fact, there is a part of me that thinks I need to grow up and give up on my dreams. I'm always a step behind. I just finished a great book - Bitter is the New Black by Jennifer Lancaster - who was not a writer and had no dreams to be one until she was unemployed and started a blog to work her snarky out - and it's not that I don't wish her success, because I do, but one of the reasons I read this book is because a friend told me "Oh my God, she writes just like you!" Then why don't I have a book deal? And there is not a week that goes by without someone asking me if I've voiced one commercial or another. There is a woman out there somewhere who sounds JUST LIKE ME who is making a freakin' fortune.

Have I not worked hard enough? Do I not want it bad enough? Where is the end of MY freakin' rainbow? Seriously, I'm ready. I will be mean and sarcastic, I'll neglect my family, I'll do whatever it takes but all you, Universe, can tell me to do is STOP SEARCHING? Well, I've been trying that too. I've stopped searching so much that I'm practically curled up in a fetal ball. Today I cried so much that I'm still dehydrated.

Now you want me to believe that I'm halfway across the rainbow, that if I wait patiently, without searching, until August 5 that my dreams will come true. Pardon me for needing a little proof. I've always needed feedback. That's why I have a writing PARTNER. I'm tired of being jealous and worried and seeing something shiny and getting all excited that it's my promised pot of gold only to find out that it's...a shiny piece of crap.

Don't promise what you can't deliver, Universe.

Will it fit in a cupholder? 5

Meditate under the Gemini Moon to discover a quicker path to your dreams, and expect to receive ideas about a few new goals you'd like to add to your list.

I would LOVE a quicker path to my dreams. In fact, I'm on the hunt for the Ambien of Goal Manifestation. Make it happen faster, faster, faster!! I'm ready to do the work right now, bring on the money, the accolades, the glory!

But more goals? Seriously. I haven't achieved the goals I set in Kindergarten yet and I've only accrued more each year. I feel like Earl with the damn list. Doesn't he seem like he should be done with it by now? But he keeps adding more things to it - and that is when I want to scream at the television "See! You are STILL a dumb ass! Stop adding more and you'll be done!"

So while I love receiving ideas.... and I do, I'm a HUGE fan of ideas.... I am at capacity. There is no more room in my head, no more time in my day.

But I will make you a deal, Gemini Moon (you again?), here is your challenge: send me an idea I can accomplish while carpooling to skating and I'll do it.

P.S. I didn't get any ideas last night. Though I have to admit that "meditation" was really me just lying there with my eyes closed until I fell asleep. But while I was sleeping my friends were getting ideas for me and they were all waiting for me in my email inbox this morning. Very sneaky, Gemini Moon, very sneaky!