I'd Like To Tell You About My..... 2

Start talking about your project. You'll feel like you're starting from ground zero, but you're not: when you say the right thing to the right person, it takes off like wildfire.

Darn it, Horoscope, this is exactly the kind of thing that gets me all excited and motivated but WHICH project and who do I tell? A little help. Please.

A spontaneous invitation will lure you away from work midday, so get as much done as you can before lunchtime.

Whatever you're after ask for it now. Right now. You won't be refused, and you may end up with much more than you'd thought possible.

Me vs. The Moon 3

The Moon's journey through your sign will encourage indulgent behavior this evening so be careful about overdoing anything of a fun or impulsive nature.

What the hey? The Moon is encouraging indulgent behavior but I am supposed to keep it in check? Have you noticed the size difference between me and the Moon? This is not a fair fight at all!

Pride and Obsessing 7

Your pride may overrule your normally flexible nature and make you somewhat resistant to change, so take care not to cut off your nose to spite your face. Eat more fruits and vegetables this weekend to balance out some recent indulgences.

Resistant to change....is this talking about the VERY cool house we looked at today that is located outside my comfort zone and therefore makes me hesitant to consider it? I wonder. And sorry, Horoscope, but my diet this week has been full of anything but indulgences.

Is it my pride that would keep me from moving? Maybe. Though I did like the house...and I really liked the property. What to do. Though my house isn't even sold, so there's not much I can do at this point. Except obsess. I'm really good at obsessing.

Good Advice 3

This is one of those times when saying less will convey more information. People remember sound bites.

Good advice, Horoscope. Especially since I have a speaking engagement tonight.

You'll reap the rewards of all your hard work when a surprising bonus or promotion comes your way under the Sagittarius Moon. A new dream is waiting in the wings and you'll find yourself transitioning toward it with ease. You can take great pride in all you've accomplished over the last few years both internally and externally.

A bonus or promotion would be a BIG surprise! Go ahead and surprise me!

No surprise, no bonus, no promotion. I have no idea what I'm "transitioning towards."

Wasn't Pluto Demoted?

Expect plenty of intensity this week! First, get a game plan together for the road ahead as powerful planet Pluto turns direct on September 13.

How can Pluto be a "powerful planet" if it's not even considered a planet anymore? Can it be just as powerful now that's been classified as a dwarf planet (no offense intended toward dwarf's). Does it even know it's not a planet? It got demoted in 2006 but as it is so far away maybe the memo is still on the way and Pluto is sitting out there telling everyone it's a planet and won't that be embarrassing when the memo arrives and I hope Pluto is alone and not at a planet party or something so he has to read it front of everyone and get all embarrassed and then there will be an awkward silence for about a minute and then Neptune will put her arms around Pluto and say "You're really better off. Being a planet sucks." And Mars will chime in "Yeah, all the meetings." and Pluto will say "You're right, this is really freeing, there's a lot of stuff I've been wanting to do." and the party will break up early and everyone else will go home and talk about Pluto on the phone.

I AM Ready For Wealth - Big FAT 0

Meditate on your abundance and give thanks for all your blessings tonight.

Tone your usual pace down a few notches -- or decibels, as the case may be. You need peace, quiet and time to contemplate right now. Yoga might be nice.

Warrior Mars harmonizes with dreamy Neptune in your 12th House of Spiritual Mystery, making it next to impossible for you to figure out a logical solution. Instead, trust your intuition to bring you the answers that you need.

Not everyone can welcome prosperity. You have a clear conscience, and you've gone without. You are ready for wealth and it is coming your way.

No intuition, no prosperity, no yoga. I'm feeling seriously out of it.