Falling Trees

Once again I could have used an astrological warning! Last night, during the huge windstorm, a loud noise woke me up. I thought it was thunder. Then I thought "A tree fell on the house! Get the kids out! No... that's crazy." And I fell back asleep. This morning I woke up to find...a tree had fallen on my house. Actually two dead trees from a neighbor's yard (he was supposed to have removed them years ago) fell and took down power lines, power poles, our play structure, and then landed on my sunporch roof.
I did have a horoscope today that said your luck is tied into good PR so when I saw the news camera in the backyard I ran out and got interviewed. Then the newspaper called for an interview and sent a photographer out. We'll see if this PR leads to good luck, i.e. our neighbors paying for the damage that THEIR trees caused.

I did have one horoscope that says Career or education may soon necessitate an exotic trip. Oh, stop acting like you hate the idea. Is your passport current? and I just have to laugh. Alicia and I are leaving for Nashville first thing in the morning for four days of exotic synchronized skating competitions. Do you need a passport to go to Nashville?

Positivity

When you're consistently positive, limits fade away.

I believe this falls under the heading of Well, Duh. When you're consistently positive, all the bad things fade away, or they seem to. But when you're consistently positive you are also eventually going to annoy someone.

Advice

Helping others with their problems will fill you with a sense of higher purpose under the Libra Moon, especially when you see them act on your advice. Ponder the internal growth you've attained over the last six months as well as the dreams you have for the near future.

Hmmmm, can't recall giving any great advice today. Certainly not any that was acted on. Though ... we were at a skating competition all morning and I told Alicia she had to keep "selling" her routine no matter what happened (though, to be honest, this is advice I give her every time she performs). She got all turned around on her Showcase routine because she had to start in a different direction and at one point I think she was actually making things up - but she did keep selling it. Not sure if that counts though.

So now I'm pondering any internal growth I've made over the last six months. And again I'm a little stumped. Have I really made any? How do you judge? You know, I think I have. In the last six months I have realized that A) I really want to write full-time, and B) I can complete steps to make that happen, like send out essays, etc. And though I've been getting some "no's" lately; I know I would tell anyone else.... Keep at it, you just haven't found the right place for your work yet. So I'm taking my own advice and I think that does show some internal growth.

Hey - I just gave some great advice to myself! I sure hope I'm listening.

No Accident Warning

It's 8:18 pm and I'm frantically searching all my horoscopes for any warning that I would be in a car accident tonight.

I was on my way to a magazine writer's workshop at the Royal Oak library and got rear-ended. Hard. I hit the back of my head on the seatback (note: they do not make those soft enough) and my car moved forward about a foot even though I had on the brakes. I was afraid I'd hit the car ahead of me, luckily I didn't. It was a busy road so I pulled off to a side street and called 911. Very nice operator, btw. I had some bumper damage and my back-up warning system is broken. But, as they say, you should see the other guy. The car's hood was half it's original length and ended up having to be towed.

My kajama.com horoscope said that I should take the evening off to recharge and have some fun. Now I wish I had. The 'scope from the paper gave no indication either. Niether did tarot.com. And the Washington Post horoscope said to keep an eye on a loved one who is in a new venture, no help.

On top of the horrible headache I have, I also have a ton o' guilt - while I was sitting in my car waiting for the officer to fill out the report, Alicia called. She had injured her hip while skating. I was less than a good mom, told her Dad was on his way and to keep moving to keep it loose, then got off the phone to wallow in my own headache.

Tomorrow I get a day of dealership visits and phone calls to my insurance company. Fun, fun.

Was I bullied?

I was told that a powerful person at work would try to bully me today. I did get a snippy email but I don't know if it was an attempt at bullying and I don't want to ask. I did have to call a friend and get talked off the Frustration Ledge. Why are people so .... so ..... snippy? Really, what's the point in being mean for no reason?

I know I'm mean for no reason sometimes and I never feel good about it afterwards. In fact, I always feel stupid and petty. Are there people who feel good after they are mean?

Slowing Down

I feel like I have been running at 90 mph since last week. Tonight I finally get to slow down. I should be writing, or picking out restaurants in Nashville for the skating trip but I think I just might watch American Idol and go to sleep. My horoscope says that if I please others, they will give me my heart's desire. I hope I pleased someone today.

My "career" horoscope - Astrology.com breaks it down into 'Overall', 'Love', 'Energy' and 'Career' - says I have unshakable confidence until January 24. I have no idea what happens on the 25th. Will I turn into a quivering, fetal-positioned mess of a woman? It wouldn't be the first time, but I've never really been warned ahead of time before. Perhaps I should cancel all of my appointments for Thursday. And stock up on tissues. And chocolate.

But back to my heart's desire - yes, I do know what it is. It's an agent who believes in me and will sell my books to publishers who love them. Oh, and a happy family and to lose 15 pounds. No, make that 20 pounds. If I'm going to get my heart's desire I might as well think big!

Recharging

Today, according to my horoscope, I am supposed to be resting and recharging. Physically it was a restful day, the most taxing thing I did was make a salad. Until tonight, when Alicia and I worked the concession stand at the Plymouth Whaler's game (we get credited towards her synchronized skating bill when we work). The work is only physcially exhausting because I have to stand on cement in a somewhat crowded booth for 4 hours. It probably feels worse than it really is.

I'm also supposed to pay attention to my eating habits and make them healthier. Oops. I did eat the aforementioned salad at lunch...with a slice of pizza. Dinner was almonds and dark chocolate covered raisins, then french fries when we finished working and I was waiting to cash out. It doesn't matter how full I am when I start working; after over 4 hours of smelling beer and fried food I will have to eat something when I am done.

A little freaky

Others will seek out your advice and wisdom as they struggle with personal dilemmas.

A good friend called today. Her ex-husband is trying to renegotiate their divorce settlement nearly 10 years later; she is being forced to go through years of paperwork and well .... it's so incredibly complicated and unfair. When she called she said "You're the only one I can talk to this about."

That's mostly because I've known them both forever. It's also because we understand each other, and she knows I will be honest and tell her that yes, it is unfair. And she knows that I will tell her that the real reason she is frustrated is because she can't control the situation. She already knows this; she doesn't really need me to tell her.

But she is struggling with a personal dilemma, and she did call for my advice and wisdom. Ok, maybe all she wanted was for me to say "You're right, you do deserve better than this." And she does. But she got my advice and wisdom whether she liked it or not.

Nothing matches

I think I read three different horoscopes today and not one of them was even close. I was told not to be stubborn - and I wasn't given the opportunity to stick to my guns. I was told that new information is at my fingertips and that I would find it on the internet. Now, I regularly find things on the internet. I find TONS of things on the internet. I find things on the internet for other people. Today .... nothing. I was told to light rose incense before bed to get a good night's sleep. I would love to do this...last night I didn't sleep at all. But who keeps rose incense lying around for the days the planets line up and you need it?
I need a list of things I'm going to need for the next month for how my planets line up: stones, scents, colors, materials. Just tell me now so I can go shopping.

Moving

I just set up a new blog page so I'm moving some stuff over from my other blog (too difficult for me to keep up with, that's another story). So it's probably going to look a little funny at first.

January 15, 2008
A Message from the Future

Here's today horoscope: The future you is communicating with the present you, letting you know decisions you can make today that will still be enjoyable for years to come.

I have to admit, I've been a little excited about a message from the future me. What form would it come in? Would it be a letter, like in The Lake House (Keanue Reeves and Sandra Bullock)? Would it be a dream? A message through my television?
As it turns out, the message came through my therapist as we were discussing a possible opportunity for me. It hasn't been offered yet, and it's not exactly the terms I was hoping for ... but it has possibilities to be more. That's when my therapist (who is encouraging me to jump at the opportunity) said "In 15 years you're going to look back and say 'boy, I did a lot of things' or 'boy, I'd wish I'd done a lot of things.' "
I nearly fell out of my chair! Of course I don't want to look back and say I wish I'd done things ... I think he was my message!

Arguments? Opinions?

January 11, 2008
Good out of bad

Yesterday's horoscope said that the opportunity for good fortune would come out of the very place where I once fell. Last night I got the opportunity to get an article published about the traumatic spinal leak I experienced last month.
There is still a part of me that wonders if I am taking these broad comments, that could be applicable to anything, and making them conform to my life. Though yesterday's situation seems pretty clear to me, does it look to anyone like I am forcing it?

January 10, 2008
Unfair?

Well, yesterday's horoscope said I would be treated unfairly and last night at book club dinner we ended up squabbling over the check like a bunch of old ladies, which I cannot recall happening in the 10 years we've been a group. Everyone insisted they had put in the right amount, and I owed about $4 but was out of cash so offered to put my part on my credit card. Everyone hurried out and I was left to spend $53 on 2 glasses of wine and a bowl of soup.

January 07, 2008
Sunday 1/6

Today's horoscope basically said that I am afraid of what I don't know, and that if I shed some light on it it will become less scary.
Isn't that true for everyone? Is there someone out there who ISN'T afraid of the unknown? I would love to meet that person. Though I imagine they would end up being one of the Extreme Sports type people. The ones that ask themselves before they jump off a mountain "What will happen to me if I jump off this? Let's find out!"
I like to learn new things, so I am not afraid of new information. I am afraid of new consequences. I like my consequences to be reasonable and expected. I like to have been able to figure them out. And I really don't like this about myself. I think too much. But how do you stop thinking?
I'm not explaining myself very well, which is frustrating (and food for further obsessing) because I'm a writer, and I should be able to get my thoughts down into words and sentences and paragraphs that explain my world - the world - to anyone who is reading.
I like living in Gray: normal children, consistent friendships, expected (positive) results from my efforts. But my thoughts are strictly Black and White: What if I never sell any writing ever again? What if I win the lottery?
So how do you shed light on the answers to extreme questions?

January 01, 2008
Motivated without motivation

A change in direction will emerge due to information that surfaces via the internet or published material today, so do a little research and see what pops up.

I'm still feeling slow. Actually, as I just wrote to my sister, I feel like my brains leaked down my spine and out the tiny hole during the 3 days of the CSF leak. I've been struggling to think ever since. And I feel less than energetic. (And apparently whiny).
I still don't feel capable of reading a novel, so I am taking the opportunity to catch up on nearly a year of The New Yorker and a few issues of New York. Found a quote from a literary agent and googled her. Don't think she is for me as it appears she is looking for literary foreign writers, and I am not foreign and don't feel literary. However, the pages she was on led to more agents and one of them led back to MediaBistro - of which I am a member. And she accepts email submissions. And she just popped up while I was doing a little research.