Devious and Out of Control

While you are not happy about your opponents' problems, you can still see the opportunity in the situation.

Don't I sound devious today? I wonder who my "opponent" is, or will be, and what kind of opportunity it is.

Outside blocks and unexpected delays will actually work in your favor if you allow the Universe free reign with your schedule today.

Have at it, Universe. Here's the reins; just warn me when you're going to break out into a run.

How can nothing have a shadow? 0

The wonderful encouragement you now receive just might be hiding something that lurks in the shadows. Don't be too quick when responding to an opportunity. Take your time and move at your own pace.

Well, I guess it's a good thing I didn't get any encouragement, wonderful or otherwise, today. And I'm sorry, Universe, but I'm going to jump on the first opportunity that comes my way like a fat man on a doughnut. What if my "own pace" is quick? Husband always says I'm "Ready, Fire, Aim." But, he also might say, "How's that working out for you?"

Not so great.

I feel like my son in a toy store. He'll pick up a toy off a shelf, "Can I have this?" "No," I say. He picks up another one. "Can I have this?" "No." "Can I have this?" "No." "Can I have this?" "No."

And what's worse is these doors aren't being slammed in my face. I knock on the door of opportunity, show the owner what I've got and they just shake their head with pity in their eyes and slowly shut and lock the door. I'd rather have the slam, at least that's a response.

Enough metaphors. They're not even making sense any more. And neither are my horoscopes. I'm about to give up on you, Universe. Throw me a bone.

I'll have the chocolate torte - 4

Use the empowering rays of the Leo Moon to peruse all the new opportunities the Universe has been offering you all week.

I don't know if I have opportunities or just potential opportunities. Or do the potentials count as opportunities? I got a call for an audition this week - is that an opportunity I'm supposed to be perusing? And what are the others? I got the "opportunity" to clean the house, but that's pretty much a given. I did get some info on submitting columns to a syndicate from my good friend Jeanine (who just landed her first column - guess I should listen to her).

How does one know what to peruse? It's not like all my options were offered up on a menu or a dessert tray.

Column - $7.50
Column with Syndication - $12.50
Role in a TV pilot - $15.00.

And get this - I just got my June Forecast:

It's June, the month of leaves and roses, and it's time to take a look at what the month holds for us astrologically.

On June 19, Mercury finally turns direct. Communication becomes less confusing and making decisions should longer be such a battle. The time is perfect to communicate all of your great ideas! Uranus, however, turns retrograde on June 26. When Uranus turns retrograde, expect the unexpected. This is a time of surprising events, and things probably won't go as planned. Embrace changes as they occur and be flexible.

This bothers me on several levels, the first being that June is the "month of leaves and roses." Really? Leaves? Since when? I'm pretty sure that most of the leaves got here in May and are sticking around until September/October - why does June get to claim them?

And notice how subtle the writer is about saying that communication and decision-making are going to suck until the 19th. And then the time limit! OK, get your ideas out there from the 20th-25th or things probably won't go as planned! It's like the month of June is having the opposite of a menstrual cycle. Instead of 5 days on you have 5 days off. 5 days out of the whole month to get stuff done!

I have a lot to do this month, dammit. I can't just take the month off or pussyfoot around because Uranus has it's undies in a bunch.

Yes, I meant to say that.