Moving

I just set up a new blog page so I'm moving some stuff over from my other blog (too difficult for me to keep up with, that's another story). So it's probably going to look a little funny at first.

January 15, 2008
A Message from the Future

Here's today horoscope: The future you is communicating with the present you, letting you know decisions you can make today that will still be enjoyable for years to come.

I have to admit, I've been a little excited about a message from the future me. What form would it come in? Would it be a letter, like in The Lake House (Keanue Reeves and Sandra Bullock)? Would it be a dream? A message through my television?
As it turns out, the message came through my therapist as we were discussing a possible opportunity for me. It hasn't been offered yet, and it's not exactly the terms I was hoping for ... but it has possibilities to be more. That's when my therapist (who is encouraging me to jump at the opportunity) said "In 15 years you're going to look back and say 'boy, I did a lot of things' or 'boy, I'd wish I'd done a lot of things.' "
I nearly fell out of my chair! Of course I don't want to look back and say I wish I'd done things ... I think he was my message!

Arguments? Opinions?

January 11, 2008
Good out of bad

Yesterday's horoscope said that the opportunity for good fortune would come out of the very place where I once fell. Last night I got the opportunity to get an article published about the traumatic spinal leak I experienced last month.
There is still a part of me that wonders if I am taking these broad comments, that could be applicable to anything, and making them conform to my life. Though yesterday's situation seems pretty clear to me, does it look to anyone like I am forcing it?

January 10, 2008
Unfair?

Well, yesterday's horoscope said I would be treated unfairly and last night at book club dinner we ended up squabbling over the check like a bunch of old ladies, which I cannot recall happening in the 10 years we've been a group. Everyone insisted they had put in the right amount, and I owed about $4 but was out of cash so offered to put my part on my credit card. Everyone hurried out and I was left to spend $53 on 2 glasses of wine and a bowl of soup.

January 07, 2008
Sunday 1/6

Today's horoscope basically said that I am afraid of what I don't know, and that if I shed some light on it it will become less scary.
Isn't that true for everyone? Is there someone out there who ISN'T afraid of the unknown? I would love to meet that person. Though I imagine they would end up being one of the Extreme Sports type people. The ones that ask themselves before they jump off a mountain "What will happen to me if I jump off this? Let's find out!"
I like to learn new things, so I am not afraid of new information. I am afraid of new consequences. I like my consequences to be reasonable and expected. I like to have been able to figure them out. And I really don't like this about myself. I think too much. But how do you stop thinking?
I'm not explaining myself very well, which is frustrating (and food for further obsessing) because I'm a writer, and I should be able to get my thoughts down into words and sentences and paragraphs that explain my world - the world - to anyone who is reading.
I like living in Gray: normal children, consistent friendships, expected (positive) results from my efforts. But my thoughts are strictly Black and White: What if I never sell any writing ever again? What if I win the lottery?
So how do you shed light on the answers to extreme questions?

January 01, 2008
Motivated without motivation

A change in direction will emerge due to information that surfaces via the internet or published material today, so do a little research and see what pops up.

I'm still feeling slow. Actually, as I just wrote to my sister, I feel like my brains leaked down my spine and out the tiny hole during the 3 days of the CSF leak. I've been struggling to think ever since. And I feel less than energetic. (And apparently whiny).
I still don't feel capable of reading a novel, so I am taking the opportunity to catch up on nearly a year of The New Yorker and a few issues of New York. Found a quote from a literary agent and googled her. Don't think she is for me as it appears she is looking for literary foreign writers, and I am not foreign and don't feel literary. However, the pages she was on led to more agents and one of them led back to MediaBistro - of which I am a member. And she accepts email submissions. And she just popped up while I was doing a little research.